Noice
You know u got great potential and i think you could get really good at this if you put more effort into how people are going to see.. yes the story and actions were shown great but it's the overall viewability of it...( if thats a word ) it dosn't get great notice because of it's choppyness it seemed like you were just sending a bunch of pictures at average speed... if you speed it up a bit more it would look beutiful and i suggest maybe a bit more colour.. i liked the story works great and how you showd the guys body language it was great... soo i bid you adue and wish you good luck